... and life goes on...

And life goes on...
Today while I was biking my way to my work... I was thinking in how my life changed so much in the course of the last 10 years... and how much I myself changed!
And amuse... I don't believe people can change... but maybe I should rethink about that!

So... lets see... ten years ago? 1998 My second year in college! And it was also when I've decided to start working in high energy physics...
But by that time... I had a very simple plan... finish college, get a PhD degree... and wait for an opening position somewhere in Brazil... (preferable in Rio... but I would be happy in another state too...)

5 years later I was flighting to Chicago... to spend sometime at Fermilab... as part of my PhD course...
I was very excited... I always wanted to go to US (unlike most of people say... yes... I wanted to go... spend a long time out... and know new places... plus I like to consume and where better to be?)
I've been in Geneva two years before, and had like it quite a lot! So I was looking forward for a similar but still different experience!

Well well... time past by... and this sometime ended up in two years... living in a suburb of Chicago... feeling cold most of the time...
But also... it was lot of fun... I went with two very good friends of mine... but that in that time, we weren't good friends... we just knew each other and were starting to get to know better (I mean... me and them... they were already friends...)
And we went along very well... I really like them!
Plus we made new friends there!!! :-D
And we party! and we drunk... and we had delusions but most of the time... we did have fun and we learned quite a lot!

And... of course... most important... I found love!

Then... 2006 and I was back in Rio!
How I've missed home and my family!!! :-D I was happy... but half of me... (maybe more) was sad... I've missed... (no... not the suburb) it missed my baby...

And... PhD... it is harder than you can imagine...
You get frustrated most of the time... and when you are almost in the end... it doesn't get better... but much more stressful...

Still... changes... yes... I've changed...
Some can not say... but I did get more relaxed after living in US...
At least for a long time, I was feeling too frustrated when things didn't go according with plan... (unfortunately... just to agree with my way of think that people don't change... this didn't last too long... and nowadays... I still find myself fighting and cursing... (life?) when plans don't work out!)
I've learned how to deal with people!
I use to say I am a little anti-social... I am in fact shy... and talk is so difficult for me...
But deal with friends is something... is how you deal with the rest what was a new skill acquired...
Plus... being a bit vain... I've got my curls back :P hahahaha

They weren't huge changes... just enough for the closest ones to notice...
But life did change!
The PLAN did change!
Here... I can say, things didn't went out according to plan!
BUT things did workout pretty well... so... I guess I new plan was made... and life goes on!

So... I've graduate... and I've got my PhD...
Now... things are not simple... you want to stay in your country... and I did want to be close to my family...
But I don't want beg for money... neither sell sandwiches on the beach to be able to fund my research...
Also... US stopped been a dream Country a long time ago... and get there is getting harder and harder...

So... new doors opened to me... and I entered!
Now... 10 years later... 3 experiments later...
And I am living in Amsterdam and working in astrophysics... (my 4th experiment... the first in a different area... all... looking for muons!!!)

Here... I'd change the most!
Here... I've lost my interest for TV! (dutch TV is the worst I ever saw... )
Here... I've got back my love for bikes... Some might not know... But yes... I did love bike!!! In fact, while young kid I was biking everywhere (until the grocery street anyway) and after that I wasn't able anymore to bile anywhere in Rio (yeah... I know people bike... but I like my life...) and I really missed
I know I've complained a lot in the begin but now... I really enjoy going biking everywhere!!!
I've also got more relaxed with myself... I had a time in college where I became so girlie... and all my colors should match... No... I didn't stop being girlie... but I stop worrying till death about matches... and I learned how to play with colors...
I also lost the obsession for perfect hair... and let it go... (but I still obsess with color! :P )
My obsession with nails it comes and goes... but now that I don't live like a princess anymore... it is going...

Oh! I'm sorry...
Maybe you are thinking I was going to make more grownup comments about my life!
Yeah yeah... there are grownup improvements too... but they are more part of a private life! :-P

Well...
Today... I just feel happy and relaxed to where I am (still with half of me sad... missing my family... but hey! At least, unlike in my time in US I can go there more easily to see them... at least, twice a year!!! :-D )
Today I feel more grownup... lest picky with myself... and growing in my carrier!

... and life goes on...
it doesn't matter what did you plan... it does matter if where you are now is making you happy?
I am happy here!
I hate my job sometimes... (but if someone tells me it never does... it is lying!) but I am still here... so I might like something in it ;-) plus... I find it pretty cool!
Amsterdam is a cool place (even though is NOT Rio de Janeiro!!!!)
And I am with who I wan to be! (for the rest of my life...)

Where I am going to be in 10 years from now?
I don't know... and I certainly don't wanna think about it now... just hope I will be happy... and that the new plan will come as good as it can get ;-)

And you? where are you now?